April 1st
by EmilyHalpert
Summary: JAM Prank
1. Set Up

A/N:

I really own nothing. Not even a Dwight bobble head. :(

**WildBerryJam** was way awesome here, for reading my rough rough draft and making it make sense. And also saying TWSS a lot.

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"Hey Pam? You've got keys to the office? Right?"

Pam's eyes sparkled. She nodded excitedly. She knew Jim was planning something for April Fool's Day. He had been thinking all weekend, trying to think the perfect prank.

"What've you got planned?"

"Let's go." Jim motioned towards the door.

The entire car ride back to the office, Pam begged him to let her in on the secret. He had a bag of supplies which was safely stowed away in the trunk, but that was all Pam knew.

When they reached the office, Pam stood at the front of the door, but she didn't unlock it.

"Uh, Pam, you said you had the keys." Jim said, fidgeting in the cold.

"I do."

"So… why aren't you unlocking the door?"

"Not until you tell me what we are doing," Pam bribed.

"Come on Pam, I'll tell you inside, its cold."

"Nope. Now."

"Fine." Jim reluctantly agreed. He carefully outlined his plan to Pam. "Now can we go in?"

Pam smiled, "yes."

Once inside the office, both got to work. It took over an hour to get everything ready, and then another 30 minutes to make sure it was all set up correctly.

"We've got it all, right? You checked?" Jim questioned Pam before they left.

"Yes, checked, double checked, tripled checked. We're ready for tomorrow." Pam replied. "Now can we get home, it's late and I'm tired."

"We'll see about that." Jim smiled, and reached over to tickle Pam.

"Uncle! Uncle!" Pam cried out laughing. "Okay, I'm awake now…." Pam grinned mischievously.

"Uh oh," Jim said laughing. He knew what was coming when Pam got that look. He started running away, as Pam chased him. They both collapsed in front of the stairs, laughing.

"Are you ready yet?" Jim asked Pam impatiently.

"This is like Christmas for you, isn't it?" she teased back. He had been up since six that morning, and had been anxious to get to work ever since. "Normally I have to drag you in, but no… today you want to get there early."

"Come on Pam, I want to see reactions. Pranks are no fun if you can't see the reactions."

"Yes, but if you get there first, everyone will know something's up! Just a little while longer, then we can leave, I promise."

Jim sulked. "Fine. But if we miss something…"

"I know, you'll hate me."

"Forever and ever."

They arrived at the office just before 8:30, still early enough to beat Dwight, but late enough to (hopefully) avoid much suspicion from others. Just to be careful, Pam parked further away from the door than normal, hoping Dwight wouldn't notice the car.

By the time they arrived, a few other people were already there. Pam caught sight of Toby in the breakroom, while Phyllis was at the watercooler. Angela glared at them as they walked in the door, but quickly went to work.

Jim motioned towards Phyllis, "You'll check, right?" he whispered to Pam.

Pam nodded and went to talk to Phyllis, while Jim head back to fill Toby in.

"Phyllis, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course, Pam."

"You in?"

"I'm in. It'll be so much fun. I can't wait. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Nope. Whatever's in the note is all you need. Thanks!"

Pam and Jim pretended to get to work, both impatient for Dwight to arrive. It figured that today would be the day he was running late.

Every time the door opened, Jim would glance at Pam, trying to figure out by her reaction whether it was Dwight or not. Finally, at 8:47, the door opened. Jim quickly looked up. Pam quickly put her head down, trying to cover a smile. This was it.

"JIM!"

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a few more chapters... hopefully posted today

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	2. Phase One

"What did you do?" Dwight stared at his desk. It was covered in something… something slightly shiny, but clear. He walked slowly over, examining it from every angle before actually touching it.

"Well, Dwight. It appears your desk has been covered in saran wrap. Wow. That's rough."

"Don't lie Jim, I know you did this!"

"You're right Dwight. I did." Jim replied nonchalantly, turning to face his computer screen.

"What?" Dwight paused, unsure of what to do now. "You admitted it. Phyllis? You heard that, right. You will tell Michael that he admitted it."

"What Dwight? I didn't hear anything."

"Stanley? Andy?" Dwight questioned, frantically, but was met with silence.

"Jim, you need to sign a statement, admitting fault, which I will turn in to Toby. Toby will turn it over to the HR department at corporate" Dwight laughed proudly, "I would not expect to have a job much longer if I were you."

"One second, Dwight, I'm on the phone," Jim quickly picks up his phone, and starts dialing. "Hello, yes. May I speak to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock? Yes, I'll hold."

"Jim! Jim, are you going to sign the statement or not?"

"Dwight, Phone." Pam called over.

Sure enough, Dwight's phone was ringing –muffled from the saran wrap covering it. "One second," Dwight said, as if the person on the other line could hear him. He was trying to untangle the saran wrap so he could lift his phone. He reached for his scissors, only to find his drawers wrapped shut. He quickly ripped the wrap off, only to find his scissors encased also.

Dwight groaned in disgust. He could hear his phone ringing, and he knew the customer wouldn't wait that much longer. He had to get the phone answered quickly before he lost a sale.

He quickly opened the scissors and cut through to the phone.  
"Dunder Mifflin, this is Dwight." He answered, saying the words as fast as he could, as if that would make up for the long wait.

"Hello, I am looking for Princess Consuela," Jim answered.

Dwight hung up in disgust. "This is not funny Jim. I demand you help me clean up this mess and tell Toby what you did."

"Sorry, Dwight. No can do. Busy day, lots of calls to make, you know how it is."

"Here, Dwight. Let me help you." Pam offered, getting up from her desk.

"No…" Dwight paused. "You're in on it. You probably helped him."

"Dwight, let me help." Pam started to unwrap his desk.

"No! I will do it myself to prevent further shenanigans from occurring."

Pam smiled as she walked past Jim. Phase one – complete.

When Michael entered a few minutes later… phase two was ready to begin.


	3. Phase Two

Phase Two

Phase Two

Michael entered his office quickly. He saw Dwight's desk and didn't want to deal with it right now. Although he and Jan had ended it before Christmas, she still called him weekly. It was like she was his boss still, but worse. When he got home last night, he found Jan, sitting on his couch. She had spent the day rearranging his furniture, and was acting as if they had never broken up. He had to get his key back from her somehow.

"Michael, Jim covered my desk in Saran Wrap – he admitted it. I would like permission to fire him."

"Dwight… just go uncover your desk. It's just saran wrap."

"Michael, he admitted it, there must be disciplinary action!"

"_Dwight_!"

"Fine, but don't think I'll forget about this…" Dwight mumbled as he left.

When Kelly came out to reception at 10:30, it didn't seem suspicious to anyone. She was chattering on and on about something as normal. However, only Jim noticed the small nod that Pam gave her as she left.

Kelly went into Michael's office and shut the door.

"Michael, so I totally need to talk to you, but you can't tell anyone. Like, not even Jan. And certainly not Darryl. He would be so angry if he found out. I mean, can you imagine Darryl angry? He's scary. I don't know what to do."

"Fine, what is it? I won't tell anyone," Michael sighed. As a boss, his job was never done.

"Well, you know how Ryan was in town like a month ago? He took me out to drinks. Well, really, I followed him to the bar with his friends. And I got really drunk. Altough I don't know how. Like, I ordered appletini's, but the bartender must be stupid, because they tasted gross. So then I tried chocotinis. Those were great. Have you ever had them? They taste like chocolate. So I kept drinking them. Because Ryan was just talking about all of his friends and totally ignoring me, you know how he does that? He acts like you don't even exist.

So I got really drunk. And Ryan drove me home, isn't that sweet? I was like 'I love you Ryan,' because I did. He was so nice, that's why I really love Ryan."

"Kelly! I don't want to hear about Ryan. He's just a jerk who went to corporate. He stole Jan's job."

"But you and Jan broke up, why do you care?"

"It just isn't cool to be taking her job, to go off to corporate, leaving your real family behind."

"Well, yeah, but he's so smart and corporate, so its really great. I mean, can you just imagine living in New York with Ryan? I would love that."

"Kelly…"

"I'm pregnant." Kelly shut up and stared at Michael. "Please Michael, you can't tell anyone. I don't know what I am going to do. I can't tell Darryl. He hates Ryan. And Ryan doesn't believe me, he says I'm lying." Kelly bursts out in tears.

Michael sighed. This was not going to be a good day.

When Kelly finally left Michael's office, she gave Pam a wink. Things were going according to the plan.

Just before lunch, Meredith headed into Michael's office. Pam gave Jim a big smile. This was going better than expected.

"Did I sleep with you?" Meredith asked directly.

"What? No. Gross. Yuck." Michael nearly gagged at the thought.

"Damn. My doc says I'm pregnant. But I can't figure out whose kid it is."

"What?"

"Yeah, I can't remember sleeping with anyone. I mean, there was that guy from the bar, but he sucked, so that couldn't have been it."

"That's what she said."

"What?"

"Um, never mind. So, you are… with child?"

"Yeah, Michael. And I think you're the father."

"What, no, I'm with Jan. She would never allow me to…"

"You guys broke up. You were upset, you slept with me."

"What? No.. no.. no…"

"Fine, face it, Michael. You're gonna be in charge with this one."

Meredith stormed out of the office.

At lunch time, Jim walked up to reception. "Pam, you ready for lunch?"

"Sure, let me just turn on voicemail."

They could barely contain their laughter until the elevator.

"Man, did you see Michael after Meredith left? Priceless."

"Michael, I'm still on Dwight. He wouldn't even let anyone near his desk for the rest of the morning."

"We're so mean."

"I think you mean brilliant."

"Oh, of course, Brilliant."

At two, Pam smiled at Jim and walked over to Michael's office, gently knocking on the door before she went in.

"Michael?" she asked, worry evident in her voice.

"Ah, Pamburlgar, what can I do for you."

Pam softly closed the door behind her. "Pamburlgar?"

"You know, from McDonalds."

"Oh, okay. Well, I need your help."

"What? Not you also!"

"Hmm?"

"Never mind, so how can I help you, my Pamela?"

"Well, you know how I've been feeling kind of sick the past week? I took one of those little pregnancy tests, you know, and it turns out I'm… pregnant."

"Uh.." Michael was speechless.

"See, I want to surprise Jim, it _has_ to be a surprise. He really wants a kid, did you know that? We were talking about it at Christmas, but we agreed that it was too soon; we haven't even been dating a year or anything.

But, now I am. So, I know he'll be happy, but you just need to keep it a secret, all right? Can you do that Michael? Promise me?"

"Certainly, oh, come here." Michael grabbed Pam and pulled her into a hug. "And,you, Michael Jr., you don't cause any problems to your mommy, you hear?" He said, looking at her stomach.

"Well, Michael…never mind." Pam quickly left the room. If he wanted to name the kid Michael, Jr., let him have the fun of it.

The day was nearly over, and Jim was surprised Michael had kept his mouth shut as long as he had. He guessed it was only because of fear that he wasn't talking. An office full of pregnant workers could be frightening for any man. Only Phyllis was left, and the thought of that was sure to disgust him enough to keep quiet for the rest of the day.

As if on queue, Phyllis scooted back and headed towards Michael's office.

"Um, Michael?" she whispered quietly.

"Ugh, what is it Phyllis?"

"Well, Bobby and I have been talking about having kids, he thinks I'm 36 you know. And he really wants some.

"Gross Phyllis. You're old enough to be a grandmother."

"We're the same age, Michael."

"No, I was, it was different. You're older."

"I went to the doctor's yesterday, you know how I left early?"

"You left early?"

"The doctor said I couldn't get pregnant." Phyllis cried. "How can I tell Bobby. He wants a child so badly."

"Doesn't he already have kids? Those weird ones that look the same?"

"Yeah, the twins. But he wants my baby. Oh Michael, what should I do?" Phyllis paused, trying to see if he was buying it. "Do you know anyone else who's pregnant? Maybe adoption?"

"Um.. I mean…maybe…"

"Really? Michael, please, tell me, I promise to keep it a secret, I just need some hope for me and my dear Bobby."

"No, Phyllis. I can't tell. I promised. Just leave. Leave, okay. I can't handle this now."

Pam could barely contain her smile when she saw Phyllis leave. Michael must be going crazy right now. All they had to do was wait another 30 minutes and then they were home free.


	4. End Of The Day

"Oh my god. He didn't say anything!"

"Did you see his face when he left? He looked like he was going to be sick!"

"Well, four pregnant women in the same office? Imagine what will happen when he tells Dwight?"

"Well, Dwight always said something about getting our cycles in sync…"

"Oh, didn't need to know that Pam."

"Well you asked!"

"So, tomorrow we let him know it was a joke? Or should we wait and see how long he can hold it in?"

"Well…maybe we don't have to."

"So, you mean wait?"

"Not exactly."

"Pam? What are you talking about?"

"Well, I may not have exactly _lied_ to Michael."

"What do you mean? I mean, Kelly, Phyllis, Meredith, you all went in there? What did you talk about?"

"No. I mean, _I_ didn't lie."

"What?"

"I'm…pregnant."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah… I didn't know how to tell you. And so…"

"Not April Fools, you're really going to have a baby."

"November 20th."

"Oh my god Pam. A baby!"

"Yeah, a baby."


End file.
